Your stretchy pants will be there for you when you try to impress the hot guy in spin class by wearing makeup and end up with mascara trails running down your face. They will be there for you when on Valentine’s Day you’re curled up on your couch watching The Notebook for the 500th time wondering why you called off you engagement, why all of your friends seem to be in relationships, and why Ryan Gosling hasn’t found you yet. Your stretchy pants will be there for you when you raid the 50% off Valentine’s chocolate sale and you can’t fit into your work pants (thank God, tomorrow’s casual Friday). Your stretchy pants will be there for you after the wake up break up (yes, I had that happen), the wake up break up 2.0 (guys suck), and throughout the parade of jerks you’ll proceed to date via Match.com in a desperate attempt to not look so desperate.
But your stretchy pants will also be there to make your butt look fabulous while you hit SoulCycle and Flywheel trying to nab a celeb boyfriend. They are always there for girls’ night gym dates followed by queso and margaritas. Your stretchy pants hug you, so you know someone loves you. They sleep with you, they walk with you and they love you no matter how much weight you gain. Your stretchy pants are the only love you’ll ever need and the only love that will last forever. (or at least until the new color comes out and you trade up)
Your stretchy pants will be there when you meet that guy who brings you soup when you’re sick and pizza to work, and never complains that you’re always in your stretchy pants. When you can find a guy who can love your stretchy pants as much as you love your stretchy pants keep him around for a while, or at least until Ryan Gosling FINALLY finds you.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
xoxo Your Stretchy Pants
& Yoga in Heels
Jacket: Adidas (old school)